In honor of my mum, on her birthday...

Today is my mom's birthday! 
Isn't she seriously cute??
Many of you probably already know Lydiebell. For those of you who don't, let me tell you a little bit about her. 

I think upon first meeting my mom, people usually thinks she's a little shy and quiet. Lyd's crafty because, really, she's not shy or quiet at all. She's a rowdy one. In fact, back in the 80s, she and my dad used to throw beach parties in our basement in the middle of winter. My sister and I were never able to attend and with good reason! I've seen the pictures. These parties were seriously wild. We now have photographic evidence that my mom did indeed dance on couches while her friends ran around in bathingsuits and coconut bras. Shy and quiet? Doubt it.

My mom is also wicked funny. Again, I must make reference to my sister's facebook status from just a few days ago. It reads: 
"Erin: I don't want to go to work today! Mom: Why? Do you want to get back into recruiting? Erin: No, I want to get back into my bed! Mom: Well unless you're a hooker, there's not much money in that."
Lyd is witty! I defy you not to laugh at that.

Furthermore, Lyd has a taste for the finer things in life. I present to you a list of Lyd's loves:

1. Jersey Shore. But only seasons one and two. She says season three is getting too scandalous. But seasons one and two were tasteful?? She often makes references to GTL and t-shirt time.
Lyd appreciates class.

2. Superbad. She says Mclovin is "sooo funny." Here's a true story for ya: I actually watched Superbad with some friends thinking it would be funny because my mom had indeed recommended it to me. As we watching, and consequently horrified, I called my mom to report how absolutely terrible the movie was. She replied, "I can't talk right now. I'm watching Balls of Fury with your grandparents!" Honestly.
Lyd thinks you're pretty funny, Mclovin.

3. Pudding. She really loves it. She mostly eats it at night, after dinner, while watching quality television. And she'll sit there and scrape the bottom of the cup. Ask my sister. It makes her crazy.
Clearly, whoever drew this must know my mom.

4. Toast. Ask my mom what she's had for breakfast or lunch or dinner or, really, anytime she's hungry. If it's not pudding, it's toast. Hungry? Don't ask my mom what you should eat cause she'll always say, "Well, you could make some toast!"

Typical conversation with Lyd:
"Oh hey mom, wanna go out to dinner?"
"No thanks. I just ate. I'm full."
"What'd you eat?"
"A piece of toast with peanut butter."
"Wow, Lyd, you must be stuffed."

Toast, Lyd's manna from heaven.

And now for a list of things Lyd does not like:

1. Will Ferrell. I know, this is really surprising given the list of finer things Lyd does enjoy. But the truth is she can't stand Will Ferrell. I personally think he's hilarious but Lyd says he's dumb. Any movie we watch that he's in, Lyd is sure to say, "Why is he always running around in his underwear??"
Will, you might think your nudity is funny, but Lyd thinks it's gross.

2. Your ideas. So go ahead, think of an idea. She doesn't like it. But give her a couple minutes. She will.

3. Fighting child. One time when my brother and sister and I were little, we spent like a whole day fighting. Lyd warned us to stop fighting or she wouldn't take us to the circus. We ignored her and continued fighting and guess what? We didn't go to the circus. It's been about twenty years now and we still talk about that. Let that one be a lesson to you. Lyd's tough. If she says no circus, she means it.
 Lyd told this kid no circus, too.

4. My dad. Hah. Just kidding, Paul. I used to always tell my dad that when I grew up Lyd and I were gonna kick him out and live by ourselves so I could have my mom all to myself. But for some reason, that just hasn't panned out. Guess she must like you, Paul.

I know what you're thinking. My mom is adorable as well as an excellent resource on American pop culture! You can be jealous. I know not all moms cause be as cute, witty, and fun as mine. So next time I'm home in Maine, come on over. I won't be offended if you really came just to see Lyd. I'd do the same.

So happy birthday mom! I hope it's full of t-shirt time, Mclovin, pudding and toast. And void of streakers and fighting children.

Oh and bt-dub, Lyd likes your idea now.

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