Name something pink that Emily does NOT enjoy

Alright, quiz time everybody.

What is something pink that I do not love??

It starts with Pink and ends with Eye.

First off, I don't have pink eye...yet.

Let's back-track a bit so I can give you the full story. In fact, let's go back to the first time I ever heard about this frightening infection with a sickeningly sweet name.

I know you all watched Pepper Ann. No introduction needed.

If you're not interested in the entire episode (which I'm not totally sure why you wouldn't be. That's like a Might Ducks slapshot to the face of your childhood), feel free to skip ahead to the three minute mark.

Ahh yes, Pink Eye Pete. My first glimpse into the face of this horrendous disease. I mean seriously, how can you not shudder at the sight of that gooey-grossness dripping from his eye? So that's the image that saunters into my head with any whisper of Pink Eye.

Ok fast forward to a couple days ago. I'm sitting down to eat my lunch at school. We always eat in the front room which is also where students leave from (door with ramp + students with stroller). So anyways, one of our long time students walks towards the door with her two daughters in tow. Now, mind you, one of these daughters is in second grade and should obviously be in regular school since it's a  Thursday at 11am.

So I open my big mouth and ask, ever so sweetly, "Hey, so-and-so (names have been changed to protect the very much at fault parties), how come you're not in school? Did you guys have the day off or something?"

To which, her mother promptly replies, "Oh, she has Pink Eye so I brought her here."

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

This is one of my absolute biggest pet peeves. If your child is too sick or has some disease or condition preventing them from attending public school, please do not bring them to our program so they can infect three classrooms of adults and one of children under age 5. Seriously. Common sense people. I don't care how much you want to learn English. If your child is sick or has lice or has a nasty hacking cough or has PINK EYE, for the love of God and all things holy and healthy, please do not bring them near me. (Note: I am allergic to cold medicine so I would go so far as to say that if your child or you have a cold, don't come within ten feet of me. I don't want it.)

Honestly, people. Pink Eye and you think it's fine to bring her to us???

And this story gets worse.

So not only does she bring her child with Pink Eye, she also offered to have her daughter "help" in the children's room where she could infect little babies. Brilliant. Our early childhood staff kindly refused her "help" since second graders tend to be more harm than help, not based on the fact that she has Pink Eye. Why, you ask? Oh yeah, because the mother didn't mention it to them. Strike two.

So when this mom tells me about her daughter's condition, I, shocked and appalled, tell her "So-and-so-Mom, you can't bring her here with Pink Eye. It's crazy contagious!!" At which point, the daughter looks like she's about to cry. And I would like to point out, I feel bad for the kid. I had no intentions of upsetting her but could not believe her mother's absolute disregard for the health of those around her.

This is where this whole scenario goes a little crazy.

The mom actually says to her daughter, "Oh so-and-so. Don't feel bad. Emily will say goodbye to you and give you a hug" and proceeds to push her daughter towards me. Strike three.

So then I really kind of flip my stuff. "No. Actually. I will not hug you. No offense. But if you have Pink Eye you need to stay over there and I will stay here and say goodbye to you from here. I am NOT about getting Pink Eye."

Seriously lady. I will not hug your daughter and I don't care if she feels bad about it because you are the one who put us in this situation. How bout she comes over and just rubs her eyeball on mine so we can be sure that mine gets infected? Would that be better?? You're seriously nuts, lady, if you think I'm gonna hug your daughter right now. And shame on you for suggesting it.

Crazy lady.

Didn't she ever watch Pepper Ann??

P.S. This woman is a dentist. She is well-educated and thus has no excuse for her ridiculousness. Shame on her.

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  1. I definitely had to think a minute about Pepper Ann.. then I played the video and was still able to sing along to every. word. of the theme song. Thanks for that ;)

    And.. seriously?! I can't believe that woman brought her kid out in that condition. I would be running the other direction. You didn't get it.. did yoU??

  2. So far I'm in the clear... but i'm definitely keeping an eye out for signs of treachery.

    Isn't it so crazy how many little jingles and old songs we still know the words to?? If only I could regain use of all that brain space...


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