This lucky little lady.

My husband is awesome. Really and seriously awesome.

Which is great because I did in fact make a lifetime commitment to him. So, thusfar, I feel pretty lucky that that's working out.

See, Adrian and I did things a little old school-like. We waited (he waited and I pondered) for about nine months before we started dating. Then we spent a year and a half frolicking through green fields until we got engaged. Then we planned a wedding. Then we married, moved in together and lived happily ever after.

<<record scratching>>

Yep. We didn't live together til we got married.

At the time, it just seemed right. I had been a single gal who had enjoyed her singleness. And by that I don't mean I had enjoyed it in the sense that I could kiss one boy today and another tomorrow. Mostly I mean I liked my job, my friends and my freeeeeeeeeeeedom to do whatever I pleased, whenever I pleased. See, I have a bit of a selfish streak. I like things to go the way I want. So if I want to buy new boots, I'd like to buy them now, nevermind your brother's friend's wife's birthday party, thanks very much. Unfortunately, relationships hinder (or really ought to hinder) your ability to do whatever whenever because you just end up feeling bad when you see such a sad little puppy face of disappointment. But long story short, I was in no rush to give up Emily-time.

Adrian, on the other hand, is not selfish. He actually likes to share. And he likes to share everything. His family, his friends, his food, his house, and that cute little laugh. So he was ready to move in like 3 years ago.

Like I said, I'm a little slower.

So we waited. And when the wedding came around, I was ready to move in and to really start a life together.

When you don't live with someone before you commit your entire lifetime to them, it's a little daunting. The three weeks before we got married, we spent painting, rearranging, packing, unpacking, cleaning, furnishing and converting an Adrian apartment into an Adrian-&-Emily apartment.

One of those nights, I picked up something off the floor (a paint brush, a shoe box, a newspaper? I don't know what it was). And I started to cry. Covered in paint, exhausted from spending day and night moving and planning a wedding, I just bawled and asked Adrian,

"Is this how my whole life is going to be?"

Oh hindsight, you're always 20/20 aren't you? I know now I was just tired and overwhelmed. Apparently going to Mexico a month before you get married is not the best idea. Particularly if you plan on moving and fixing up an apartment in the three weeks after you return and before you get married. Sounds ridiculous now. I know.

But you know, when I think about it now, I think that was actually one of the best times in our relationship. I had known before that we worked well together, but this was beyond anything we'd done before. In those three weeks, Adrian continued working 50-60 hours a week. He'd get out of work at 10pm, pick me up at my apartment and we'd work for the next couple of hours. Then he'd bring me home. I'd sleep. Wake up. He'd pick me up. We'd run errands for the wedding. He'd go to work. Rinse. Wash. Repeat. There were so many little things that could, and did, go wrong and so many times we could have just completely freaked out on each other because of the enormous stress of it all. But mostly we didn't. And that was good.

And I began to see something that I've seen more and more of as we live together: Adrian and I are a good little team. Separately, we're both procrastinators. But somehow, we really are better together. We get things done and we laugh and we enjoy each other while we do it.

Historically, I have great ideas and even better intentions, but my follow-thru is often MIA. Adrian keeps me on track and reminds me why I wanted to do it in the first place. Often my ideas are greater than my talents. But thusfar, I have yet to dream up a project that Adrian doesn't have the know-how to complete. Like I said, we're a good little team.

I used to hear from people that the first year of marriage was the hardest because there was so much to learn about living together. And I have learned a lot about living together. I always tell Adrian that the longer I live with him, the more I realize how good for each other we really are. I uncover those little quirks and idiosyncrasies that only I, his wife, will know. And I feel privileged to know them.

At least once a week, I still ask Adrian if this is how my whole life is going to go. But unlike that paint-covered night back in August, I ask with a sense of hope. "Adrian, will you always love me like this?" And he always tells me the same thing: Of course I will.


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2 comments:

  1. Just found your blog and love it. :)

    I cannot imagine the stress that you two must have felt! I always get so grumpy the weeks surrounding a move. It just drains the life out of you!

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  2. Hey! Thanks for the compliment :)

    Back when I lived with a roommate, post-college, I used to tell her, "I'm not moving out of this apartment unless I'm getting married." I stayed true to my word. I hate hate hate moving, too. Definitely a grumpy time!

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