This time, with tulips. Or why my soul has become a graveyard.


I watched far too much "Bachelor" yesterday. I had it on in the background as I attempted a couple of projects in preparation for our Oscars party. Much like the Bachelor, my projects fell flat on their faces. My printer ran out of ink, my Cricut didn't want to cut cursive letters, my glue broke and I had run out of gold glitter cardstock. Such first world problems, I know. The combination of the Bachelor's dismissiveness of women and their feelings and my failed projects sent my day into tailspin.

Adrian came home from work. I changed into some jeans and one of the winter sweaters that has come to define my winter style, which I should note has become more middle-aged woman and far less "Adorable blogger lives in city!" We had to pick up a few items for the party as well as all the supplies for my projects. On the way, we drove past a cemetery and the snow was falling and there was an absolute lack of life and color and excitement and yes.

"That cemetery is like my soul," I mumbled.

"Don't be so dramatic," Adrian laughed.

I think I have finally hit that wall I've heard so much about. I am done with winter and gray and cold and socks and failed projects and oversized sweaters and silence. There is no magic left in hot chocolates or fluffy comforters or cozy socks. And there is certainly no magic in snow.

In the grocery store, I waited at the end of the aisle for Adrian as he carefully chose his ingredients. This little girl sat in a cart a few steps away from mine, by herself. I wondered where her parents were and then she started yelling and they came to her rescue. And I thought, this could very well be where I break. Right there, next to screaming children in a grocery store, wearing this awful fuchsia sweater because I need some color. Groceries stores are typically unbearable to me but when your soul is a cemetery, well, it's just too much.

As we were leaving, there were pink tulips by the check out. Adrian grabbed them and told me I needed them.

And I did.

We went home and I didn't even notice the cemetery as we passed. I put my tulips in water and told Adrian to be careful not to knock them over. In our small apartment, accidents happen. 

I woke up this morning and started again on my projects. This time with all the right materials and with tulips.


8 comments:

  1. I love the line about how winter has killed your blogger "so cute" spirit. I feel the same lady! This winter has me in frigging sweats and it's soooo bad right now. I just want to feel pretty!


    www.theadoredlife.com

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  2. Emily, I'm right there with you. I was dealing with this a few weeks ago. The cold weather and the grey skies are bringing a lot of people down, I think. Here's to hoping for warmer weather soon, and if none comes, at least more pretty tulips! :)

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  3. I think we've all hit this point at some time this winter! They were talking about it on the radio the other day and I thought "Nah, I'm fine. This winter doesn't bother me." And then I unraveled. Haha. But seriously, thank you for commiserating! And yes, let's hope for warm weather soon!!

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  4. I start feeling this way every January, and it usually doesn't budge much until the sun comes out (which is about this week for us, coincidentally). Hang in there! Spring is close! Love the thoughts, btw :)

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  5. a) you have a good man there.
    b) SAD is a real thing! I didn't believe it until I lived in London, but it is. I remember looking online for some good coping mechanisms and my mom bought me a vitamin D lamp which helped as well. hope you feel springier soon!

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  6. I do have a good man, don't I? :)
    Yes and yes on SAD. I have vitamin D and I finally feel like Spring is coming. Weather.com says 53 degrees tomorrow and I have a new blue Spring coat to match. Yes, things are finally looking up!

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  7. I definitely know how you feel. You put very eloquently, and sadly, into words that which I'd been struggling with since December, so thank you. And on that note, I certainly hope you feel better and get some sunshine - literal or figurative - soon. Winter can be a very hard time of year. I'm glad you got some tulips to help brighten your day. Sending warm wishes, xx, Elizabeth


    www.octoberjune.com

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  8. Eeek! I'm just seeing this now! Thank you. Spring is finally starting to show more consistently around here and while the temperatures are still low, the daylight and sunshine are helping!


    How are things for you??

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